the shoulders of giants

today i was cleaning out my pre-mission emails and i ran across an assignment i wrote for my arabic teaching methods class two years ago. i don't know what the assignment was supposed to be, but i wrote about many of the teachers in my life that made me who i am today. i do stand on the shoulders of giants. and you can read about some of them here. :)

Mrs. Kelly: Mrs. Kelly was my teacher in the Gifted and Talented program at my elementary school in Texas. Although I remember few specifics of what I learned in elementary school, Mrs. Kelly was one of my favorites because she recognized the potential of each of her students. It might be easier to see potential in GT because of their advanced learning and personal drive, but I will always remember her for recognizing what I could become and pushing me toward that. My mother still tells me what Mrs. Kelly said about me so many years ago: "I want to see what Breanne does with her life, because she is going to do great things!"

Brother Anderson: Brother Anderson was perhaps my all-time favorite teacher. I could say many things about him, but the two I will choose to highlight are his care for each of his students and his brilliance. He was my high school seminary teacher, and I was going through a lot of hard things at the time. I turned alot to my favorite seminary teachers for guidance, and Brother Anderson was one to whom I knew I could talk to and he would offer real solutions to my real problems. I respected him more than perhaps any other teacher I had because he was brilliant, and especially brilliant about his subject matter (the scriptures and supplementary material). I truly believe he had the Book of Mormon memorized. Because he knew so much, when I asked him doctrinal questions he would show me where the answers were in the scriptures, teaching me how to find answers on my own. He inspired me to 1. memorize the Book of Mormon (it really is on my list of active long-term goals) and 2. be an ANES major.

Mrs. Cross: Mrs. Cross was my English teacher during one of my "life-crises"--not my mid-life, but a crisis nonetheless. I credit her with inspiring me to be an English major. I loved her class because she made us think critically about everything that we read. She stretched us to our capacity and then helped us see that we could do more. We read Hamlet, and to pass the test we practically had to have the thing memorized--but it is still my favorite work of Shakespeare because I know it so well. I prepared for her class not because it was so hard but because she made me want to excell--not just in her class but in my English major as well.

Matt Grey: Matt Grey was my first religion teacher at BYU. It was a summer term and a freshman class, but Brother Grey did not let any of that stop his enthusiasm for the scriptures. His enthusiam was unmeasureable--and he talked faster than anyone I had known to get all the information in! A close second after Brother Anderson in inspiring me to be an ANES major is Brother Grey, who graduated in that himself from BYU. When I heard the major was going to open the following Fall semester, I told Brother Grey that I was planning on majoring in it. He immediately took me to his office and gave me lists of classes I should take and some of his favorite professors at the university, all of which have become some of my favorite professors.

David Seely: Brother Seely was a reccommendation of Brother Grey, and I will always be grateful I took Old Testament from him. He would always bring up tangents about the OT/ANE in class and then say, "That would make a great master's thesis!" He taught me to reach beyond what is immediately available in the text and actually think about what you are reading. I went to his office several times to talk to him about Jerusalem (I was preparing to go to the Hebrew University), and he even wrote my letter of recommendation for my Hebrew U application (while he was teaching on a study abroad in London, no less!).

Dana Pike: Dr. Pike has been my teacher for a couple of classes now. There are two things I will mention about him: first of all, he pushes our scholarship to a new level. I feel that he is quite demanding for his classes, especially the ANES ones, but I am starting to understand that it is worth it. He demands us to practice real scholarship--not just get the assignment done, but actually think about it, and he structures his lessons around seeing what we learned from the reading/what we think about it/etc, and especially he makes us think about controversial issues within our major and how we are going to deal with these things in grad school/throughout our lives. And secondly, he is the ANES coordinator, and he cares about each of the people in the major like they are his own children, making sure he attends their presentations, supports their efforts at scholarship, and cares about their personal problems. I have had personal interaction with him a number of times, and it is clear to me that he truly cares--even though he is just my professor, he is willing to listen to my complaints and offer counsel when necessary.

Paul Peterson: Although Brother Peterson was not actually my teacher, I worked for him for a year before he retired. Brother Peterson impressed me because he was always looking for ways to improve his teaching, even though he had been teaching at BYU for about 40 years. When I began working for him he was teaching a graduate class on Christian History, and he would often run his ideas for class by me to see what a student's perspective was. He was also committed to lifelong learning and asked me every time I met with him if I was learning as I was working for him. If I thought the work was boring and wasn't learning from it, he wanted me to do something else--and he always apologized when he had a copy job for me to do! Brother Peterson has passed away now, but even at his funeral his children spoke of how he was committed to lifelong learning.

Well, there you go. I have had some awesome, awesome teachers. And maybe one day I will teach too...

i don't want to be ordinary

these past few days since i have been home from my mission have been ones of reflection. the day after i got home my mom took me out to eat at cafe rio. and i saw all the ordinary utah people, sitting there eating, and their ordinary utah lives, and their ordinary utah thoughts. and i thought, "i don't want to be ordinary!"

i want to be exciting. i want to have adventures. i want to change the world!

and then the next day i went to lehi to visit my sister-in-law and meet my new nephew, maxton. he is 3 months old. and adorable.

and i looked at laura, his mom, and i thought about her life. working full-time from home so she has time to take care of maxton, her days are filled with diaper changes, bottle feedings, and holding a crying baby, all the while taking calls from her boss and filling out spreadsheets on the computer.

and i realized that to her son, she is very not ordinary. she is the most extraordinary and important person in his life right now. and that is the way that God meant it to be. it was a very sacred moment for me.

but i still don't want to be ordinary...

More Alternatives to Studying

Unrighteous Dominion

I found this quote by President Hunter as I was working and I found it intriguing:

"For a man to operate independently of or without regard to the feelings and counsel of his wife in governing the family is to exercise unrighteous dominion."

(Howard W. Hunter, October 1994 Conference Report)

Called To Serve

Never have I been so excited to go on a mission as I am right now. I just finished interviewing with my stake president, and May 20 (the day he will send my papers in) seems like an eternity away.

During the interview, as I spoke of what missionaries do and of whom they testify, I was able to testify several times of the divine mission of Jesus Christ, of His atonement for us, and of the Father's love. If there is anyone struggling with knowing for themselves what the atonement of Jesus Christ can do in their lives, let me say here that I know that through the atonement, our sins can be washed clean. We do have the opportunity to return and live with our Father in Heaven, eternally, because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. He is our Savior and our Redeemer, the Son of God, and our Advocate with the Father. He truly is "an High Priest of good things to come." I love Him with all of my heart and soul and mind.

Any sacrifice that I have made is worth being where I am right now--able to testify of Jesus Christ and His gospel on the earth today, that we have a living prophet and living revelation from God, and that He is constantly working for the eternal happiness of His children--us!!! For those who are considering a mission, pray about it with an expectation of receiving the answer the Lord wants you to have (this includes older couples--and younger couples who can prepare now to serve a mission). For those who are not considering a mission, first of all consider it (even if it is 40 years away), and secondly, remember Elder Bednar's counsel from this last General Conference and be a life-time missionary.

I love this gospel. I love the scriptures. And I love our Heavenly Father and His Son, our Savior Jesus Christ.

And in four months I will be testifying of these truths full-time!

An Alternative to Studying

"can i ask you a question while i can still talk?"

"how could i have 11 cavities?"

thus began my conversation with the dental hygenist. after explaning that i brush and floss every day (and even use listerine!), the hygenist explained that some people just have genetically bad teeth! (i guess going to the dentist every six months helps somewhat with that...)

oh well, i thought. anything is worth going on a mission for. besides, the dentist had told me that this marathon round of cavity filling would take about two hours--a long time, but not unbearable. and, i am leaving the country in two weeks, so i had to do it all in one appointment, and asap.

and, the hygenist had gone on a mission to romania, and she told me that before she went, she was afraid that she would have to go to a foreign dentist! in romania, she said, when you have a problem with a tooth they just pull it out!

thoughts of laying on a table in a cement room with a solitary lightbulb hanging over me as a foreign dentist yanked out my teeth with rusty pliers kept me in the chair the whole appointment.

all was well until the hygenist gave me a mask for the laughing gas to help me "relax." as i fooled myself into thinking that this noxious substance was actually helping me relax, i started realizing what a beautiful day it was, and how happy i was to be in the dentist's office! however, as soon as the dentist came in to give me my numbing shots, everything was not ok! all of a sudden i was hyperventilating, my heart was racing, and i was starting to cry! i was hyperventillating as the dentist gave me the numbing shots (six!!!), and he repeately asked if i was ok (of course i said yes...what were they going to do if i wasn't ok, send me home?).

when he was done and the hygenist came back in, i asked her to please remove the mask. when she asked if i was sick, i told her (with a rapidly numbing mouth), "i dink i ab allergic to dis duff!" of course i am not allergic, but my body was obviously having a severe reaction, and in my numbed reacted state i couldn't think of another way to describe it. i had to stand up and walk around the office for ten minutes, shaking violently with a racing heart the whole time, as i tried to get my hyperventillating to calm down.

and this was before they even started drilling!

when they did finally start drilling, the dentist became increasingly more and more alarmed at how "bad" my cavities were. "how long since you have been to the dentist?" he asked again, and i ashamedly replied, "three and a half years!" "yeah, these were probably started back then...and they have been decaying since then!"

great.

what was originally supposed to be a two hour appointment turned into a four hour appointment...it was so long, in fact, that the numbing wore off before they did the last two teeth. when the dentist asked if i wanted to be renumbed, i, unfortunately thinking that a few seconds of pain was more bearable than taking more time to be numbed, said no.

and this was a mistake.

when the dentist started applying the filling, my body was suddenly filled with unimaginable pain and i screamed and jerked. i quickly apologized (with a mouth that had been open with people's hands in it for four hours--i didn't know whether my jaw or my teeth hurt worse!), and the dentist, noticeably worried but unable to do anything about it now, said that he was sorry but they were almost done! i knew that, of course, but it didn't make the last minute any less painful, with me gripping the arm rests and hyperventilating. the pain was so bad i even started to cry, and the solitary tear did not escape the eye of the dentist, who apologized profusely but, of course, i had asked for it.

needless to say, three days later, i am still taking advil for intense mouth pain.